13

13

(2011)

A naive young man assumes a dead man's identity and finds himself embroiled in an underground world of power, violence, and chance where men gamble behind closed doors on the lives of other men.

Well shiiitt.....
Two crappy movies in a row. Seems I'm going for a record if I keep this up.

The reason I wanted to see this, was mainly because of Statham. I was hoping for a regular popcorn flick to enjoy. I found out that it's far from the truth. Jason Statham, along with 50 cent and Mickey Rourke just kinda pop in and out. The main story evolves around Sam Riley, who looks like a struggling heroin addict in this movie.

The story itself might've been great (I heard the original was decent), but this was horrible, just horrible. Huge plot with the story and character development. Even at the end of the movie you won't know shit about the characters. They're like shitty mystery novels. The main character is the ony one, who's a bit better, but far from Good.

I'm not sure, what to say about 13. My expectations were completely off. The idea of random shooting and gambling is kinda my cup of forte, but they didn't know how to play it out. And the ending was the worst. Just random nonsense. It had more absurd endings than LOTR, Return of the King, special edition.

Just don't watch it. You want Statham go for Transporter or Crank, or for Snatch for a film with good actors and a good storyline as well. because 13 isn't worth your time, even if you like the A-list actors it features.

11-11-11

11-11-11

(2011)

After the death of his wife and child, an author travels to Barcelona to see his estranged brother and dying father, where he learns that his life is plagued by events that occur on 11/11/11.

Well hello there, I am finally back again and hopefully for good. It has been a really long time since I wrote her, but might as well give it go again.
It was 3 weeks for me with out a movie. Which is the longest I have gone in the past 4-5 years. A record - good or bad, can't tell yet.

I'm not quite sure, why I picked 11-11-11. Maybe because it was short (1:33) or because of my love for numbers. Anyway.. This movie, it suck donkey balls. Big time. It was so bad, that I actually considered stopping early. But I pulled through and I still think it sucks.
One of the main problems were the huge plot holes you could sense through out the movie. Shit just didn't add up. When they finally got to their "Oh my Fucking GOD, I didn't see THAT coming" part, it left an even bigger hole then before.
Another thing I was annoyed about was the editing. They tried to find a cool, different way of showing it, but it fell short.. a lot. It just made things look messy. Weird jumps and the "special effects". Let's just say I could do a better job in my basement. (I don't even have a basement)
Finally we get to the acting part. Jesus fuck, was it supposed to be that bad or they were all as confused about the movie as I was. Their faces didn't have any emotion at all. Seems like a crappy job by the director who already fucked with the Saw movies. Just perfect...
Something good about the movie?? Let's just say that, if you never watch it, you're pretty good.

All and all a great movie, if you like your food prechewed and fed to you trough your ass. Imagine that for now.
Until next time, you reader (ME)!!

X-Men: First Class

X-Men: First Class (2011)

Directed by: Matthew Vaughn
Starring: James McAvoy, Kevin bacon, Michael Fassbender, January Jones, Rose Byrne, Jennifer Lawrence

Synopsis: Before Charles Xavier and Erik Lensherr took the names Professor X and Magneto, they were two young men discovering their powers for the first time. Before they were archenemies, they were closest of friends, working together, with other Mutants (some familiar, some new), to stop the greatest threat the world has ever known. In the process, a rift between them opened, which began the eternal war between Magneto's Brotherhood and Professor X's X-MEN. Written by Twentieth Century Fox.

Guess who's back, back again. Glen Live is back, tell some men...
I had high hopes for this film particular. I was one of the few, who liked Origins (even though it had major plot holes), but with First Class they were really high. I'm glad to say that all my hopes were matched and surpassed. I truly enjoyed this film. The acting, the visuals, the story, everything, it was just amazing. The story - the only thing I had doubts in. When I finally god home I started reading to find out how close it was to the original comic book version. I'm not a hardcore comic fan, but I like my stories straight. Well fuck me... It was pretty good. They took bits and pieces and put them all together. I like how they tied all the loose ends. (Spoiler alert) Xavier losing the use of his legs and Mystique going with Magneto. Even though the comic version is different, I still liked it. I'm not quite sure what else to say. It is truly a great piece of film. Even if you're not a comic book fan than you should still see it. You'll mind will be blown.
Final Verdict?? What are you waiting for? DVD rip? Fuck No, go see it!

The Cook, The Thief, His Wife And Her Lover

The Cook, The Thief, His Wife And Her Lover (1989)

Directed by: Peter Greenaway
Starring: Time Roth. Alan Howard, Michael Gambon, Helen Mirren, Richerd Bohringer, Ciaran Hinds

Synopsis: The wife of an oafish restaurant owner becomes bored with her husband and considers an affair with a regular patron.


An old-scholl allstar cast, in a bit older movie. Expections were high and the result was even higher. Damn this movie is twisted like hell, but you'll love it and there's nothing you can do about it. I saw dong about 4-7 times during that movie and Helen Mirrens bush atleast twice. Damn.. Actors with such a caliber naked, is something else. If the opening doesn't shock you, then wait until the endd. Lightharted people may puke. So Consider it a warning. The plot is what I love the most, but the dialogue comes close at second. The way Michael Gambon talks and acts, it's just brilliant. You have great tits like a cow - something to say to your wife infront of everybody. It just don't know what else to say about this movie, you have to see it yourself to figure out how awesome this is. Final Verdict?? Watch it, I don't know how, I don't even care how, by download, via internet, buy it even, just see this movie. God, it ain't that hard.

Also, I'm wishing everybody a good weekend. Because I really dislike Christamas, but Santa > Jesus. No offence to Christians, but you guys have to believe in yourself more. Bye.

Big Night

Big Night (1996)

Directed by: Stanley Tucci, Campbell Scott
Starring: Stanley Tucci, Tony Shalhoub, Minnie Driver, Ian Holm, Isabella Rossellini, Allison Janney

Synopsis: A bittersweet story of two brothers in search of the American dream. Primo and Secondo Pilaggi are Italian immigrants who settle on the New Jersey shore and open a restaurant, the Paradise, hoping to strike rich. Primo, the elder brother, is a master chef from the Old World who is concerned only with quality and authenticity in the kitchen. econdo, the younger brother and business manager, is all too eager to compromise if it means more customers and cash. Teetering on the blink of failure, the brothers learn that the famed Italian-American musician Louis Prima is performing in the area and they contrive to host a dinner in his honor. Hoping that a big night based around a celebrity like Prima will get them publicity, the brothers pool all their talent, energy and every cent they have to plan a sumptuous banquetof unsurpassed ambition. What follows is a culinary adventure that will teach them alot about themselves, each other and their different definitions of life, love and success.

Hmm.. a long time has passed since I last did this, but I'll give it my best. The movie is good, even if your not a cuisine or an Italian fan you'd like it. It has that little something in it that makes it good. I found it for myself and everybody else will probably also. I'm kinda drawing a blank what to write, because the synopsis is long enough and tells the entire storyline. What I'll say about the ending, without giving it away, is that it's great. A 5 minute, uncut frame. Can it get any better? Oh yes it can. It took the whole movie in to this one scene and it was just perfect. I'd shed a tear, if I could cry. The story it self will keep you interested through out the progress. It's interesting, fun and compelling. Final Verdict?? Yeah, watch it, it's a tasting experience that will last in your mouth. (I just had to say something stupid like that)

Carrie

Carrie (1976)

Directed by: Brian DePalma
Starring: Sissy Spacek, Piper Laurie, Amy Irving, William Katt, Nancy Allen, John Travolta

Synopsis: A young teenage girl wreaks telekinetic vengeance on her high school tormentors and religious-nut mother. A young teenage girl wreaks telekinetic vengeance on her high school tormentors and religious-nut mother.



Carrie aka from zero to pissed off in 2.5 seconds. Starts off a little weird, but it's okay I guess, because there are a lot off things that at some point don't make sense. For instance the ending itself, it's like, wait what? Story itself, I'm feeling it, I really am. It's great. Highschoolers, supernatural, your freaky religious mother who is a complete psycho and the senior prom. Oh yes, the prom. The infamous senior prom from Carrie. It truly is what makes this movie so great. (I wont spoil it if you don't what happens) And then your psycho mom. Having your first periods is a bad thing? Oh damn. My (girl)friend asked me where do these people come from. My answer: from the church. One last detail, the clothing is so retro that you will question Travoltas haircut and the girls gym pants. Final verdict?? A classical horror flick from the seventies, rock it!

Snatch

Snatch (2000)

Directed by: Guy Richie
Starring: Jason Statham, Brad Pitt, Vinnie Jones, Jason Flemyng, Dennis Farina

Synopsis: Snatch poses a very important question: Where is the stone? This is a caper about a diamond heist gone helter-skelter, the rough-and-tumble world of bare- knuckle boxing, an unpredictable Irish gypsy and a dog. Double-crossing, double-bluffing and double-dealing abound as various parties pursue personal agendas-all of them illegal, some of them farcical and most of them involving an 86-carat diamond. As plans go haywire and tempers fray, dogs, diamonds, mobile homes, boxers and assorted weaponry get swept up into a chaotic free-for-all. The question is - who will emerge with the stone?



Wait what??? These words will cross your minds during this film. Not only once, twice but atleast 5 times?? Well, case being. It gets a bit fonfusing at somepoint, but then they clear it all out and then it's cool again. The problem itself begins when all the characters come in motion. You wont remember them all, but slowly when they start dying, it's cool again. So.. what else? Starts with a nice little heist. Yews robbing the yewelry, cool. The the lid blows. One thing I enjoyed the most was, that you could never predict what happens next. I just love unpredictable movies. The ending itself is the best. And the cherry on top? It has a storyteller, yummy. Final verdict?? Thumbs up for Pitts great acting.